If you are a woman living in overclass snoburbia, and you are between the ages of 35 and 55, you must have a mid-thigh length down coat*. It must be brown or black.
* It must not say North Face on it. That was so two years ago. I mean, people at Wheaton Plaza are wearing it now**.
**1. How you know a trend has reached total mass market saturation, or, 2. Where fashion goes to die