snoburbia, the blog

beer, deer, powerball and cigarettes

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Yup, pretty much sums up why I left my home state all those years ago:

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i want it, daddy!

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Reportedly, the Apple iPad is the Christmas gift most desired by children in the under-13 set. (It starts at the "unbelievable price" of $499.)

Um... no.

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the manolos

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I was at a party, and I expressed admiration for the shoes of the snoburban woman next to me. I believe my exact words were, "Your shoes are really cute." This apparently was the prompt that caused her immediately to slide her foot out... so that I could gaze upon the Manolo Blahnik label while she said, "Thank you."

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last-minute orders

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If you want to give a snoburbia tee for Christmas, there is still time - but it's down to the wire. I ship Priority Mail, which usually guarantees 2-3 day delivery anywhere in the U.S. Also, I won't be printing again before Christmas, so if there is a shirt you simply must have, email me at info[at]snoburbia.com to see if I have it in stock.

Happy Holidays, y'all.

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snoburban hospital

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People often ask me how I come up with topics for my blog. But really, they hit me when I least expect it, sometimes ridiculously.

Recently, we needed an ambulance. The EMTs asked, "Which hospital would you like us to take you to?" I mentioned the big one that was closest to us. But the EMTs looked at each other, knowingly. They said, "You don't want to go there." So they took us to the smaller hospital in the snoburbs, the one where you can get cappuccinos and rugelach in the lobby.

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somewhere over the rainbow

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I attended a large political event today in my snoburban county. Every major and minor local politico was there. There were speeches, of course. There was praise of firefighters and police officers and union employees, of course. There was an honor guard, a bagpipe group playing patriotic songs, an orchestra of local high school kids (mostly Asian), and a Jewish a cappella group. Saying prayers were a Rabbi, a Muslim imam, and a Baptist minister. An African American soloist sang "God Bless America" (beautifully) from her wheelchair. There were no unitarians or atheists, though.

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no need to be goy, roy

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In this part of snoburbia, you must know how to pronounce words like "shikse" and "mezuzah." When you eat, you nosh. When you carry something heavy, you schlep it. These words have seeped into my vocabulary. (I grew up hearing about the rosary and the Trinity.) The grocery store in Bethesda was packed for a few days in mid-September. My children attended at least three Bat or Bar Mitzvahs a year in seventh and eighth grades.

One of my friends moved away from here, and her kids were shocked by the new school system: "What?! We have to go to school on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur?"

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Happy Hanukkah to all my friends who celebrate the Festival of Lights. (Or is it Chanukah?)

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