snoburbia, the blog

magnet application

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From the application form for the Montgomery County middle school Mathematics, Science, and Computer Science Magnet Program. Children apply for it at age 10, in fifth grade:

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snoburbia [heart] nutella

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Nutella. I first discovered it in the cabinet of a friend in California. This friend bought $180 shoes (in 1987), drank Orangina and shopped at Trader Joes (in 1987). She and Nutella were cool.

But now, Nutella is at Costco, and Orangina is owned by Dr. Pepper Snapple.

And the other night, I was horrified to see a television commercial for Nutella. Now the masses would know my delicious chocolate secret.  But not to worry; it was aimed right at snoburbia. First of all, the ad was placed on that ersatz egghead show, Rubicon (watched on DVR, of course). And then there was the subtext:

Nutella, is "perfect on multi-grain toast and even whole wheat waffles."

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the elaborate thanking ritual

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Sociologists, pay attention. After every school or community event in snoburbia, an important ritual occurs: the elaborate thanking ritual. This is where the women who volunteered in the event try to out-thank each other. The one of us who thanks with the most spirit wins.

I just volunteered at a fundraising event, a party to raise funds for our endangered children's library. And, as I expected, within 24 hours, the ritual began:

Kudos to Sue* and her incredible volunteer team, who put together a
magnificent afternoon… the D.J. spun the finest hits. It
was truly an afternoon infused with community spirit.

Sue to volunteers:
Thank you so much for creating such a wonderful dance party! We raised
over $3,000 for the... Children’s Library… Congratulations and
thank you again for all your help!

Sue, I think the thanks goes in the other direction!!! Thank YOU for being
such a tremendous leader and orchestrating such a special event for
our community…

And we have a winner! It's only been a couple of days, so I fully expect a few more. No one has thanked the thankers. And no elected official has weighed in yet.

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* name changed to protect the thanked

honorable classhopper

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My son took his first kung fu class today at the local snoburbia martial arts academy. The instructor told me they used to mix all levels in one class and everyone was considered equal. But, she said, "For some reason, that didn't work around here. People always wanted to know what level their kids were as compared to other kids. So we had to go to a colored sash system."

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snoburbia and race

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Maybe it's the cold weather coming in, but it's time to wax serious for a moment. Well, as serious as I can wax, anyway.

In the last couple of days, I have heard two interviews on NPR* and had a conversation that helped gel a thought that has been rattling around in my head for many months. It's about race and snoburbia.

One interview was with Vijay Iyer, the jazz artist. Interviewer Terry Gross asked him whether, when he was growing up, people questioned him about why he, an Indian American, was playing jazz?

And then I heard an interview with Eugene Robinson about his new book (which I can't wait to read), Disintegration: The Splintering of Black America. He talked about how the African American overclass really did not relate to the black underclass (whom he called "abandoned"). The two live their lives largely in separate spheres.

That same day, I was having a conversation with a Japanese woman who was newly arrived in snoburbia. She said she liked Bethesda because people don't treat her as a foreigner. When she went to another part of the country, she felt uncomfortable, and people stared at her and her family. They asked her probing questions.

This got me thinking about how race is treated in snoburbia. In the local snoburban high school, kids mix seemingly without regard to race. They think nothing of calling someone of another race, "hot." (Where and when I grew up, one would have kept such a thought to oneself.) My kids and their cohort have friends of white, African American, Asian, Middle Eastern and Latino family background. They don't talk about race at all. At all. Really. It just doesn't come up, except perhaps as a descriptor.

But when I look more closely at who all of these kids are, it becomes clearer. No matter the race, all of the children are advantaged, from educated parents. Some of the blacks and Latinos are children of government bureaucrats, scientists or diplomats. Some were born in another country. But they all have at least some money and educated parents.

Left out of the snoburban teen social groupings are black and Latino kids from the less fortunate neighborhood. (There are virtually no poor white or Asian kids around here.) Those kids also attend the same high school, but they talk and dress differently. They live in one or two pocket neighborhoods and ride the school bus. They don't go to the same parties or even to the same mall. They are more on MySpace than Facebook, so their online social interactions are limited; this aspect is rapidly changing, however, and may already have changed by the end of this paragraph.

When I talk to my friends who live in the area between the coasts about my blog, they usually make the assumption that I'm talking about and to white people. Then they immediately ask me if I have seen Stuff White People Like. (Well, of course I have seen it. The dude got a book deal out of it. I'm not bitter. And no, I am not going to link to it.)

It always strikes me as strange that there is an assumption of whiteness when people who don't live in snoburbia think of privilege. In snoburbia, no one would ask Vijay Iyer why he played jazz. However, if he were very poor and undereducated, people might wonder (not aloud) how he discovered jazz. Snoburbia is much less stratified by race (though, to be fair, white people are the majority).

If a family like the Obamas moved in next door (or into the White House), nobody would bat an eye. We know them. They are familiar. They are not wearing t-shirts with baggy sleeves down to their elbows or big, gold hoop earrings [see below]. They planted a garden and go to Sidwell, so they are of snoburbia.

Instead, what gets people around here in a complete tizzy? People in snoburbia are more upset that the Obamas may not have planted an organic garden. Quel scandale!

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A note about my photo: I knew exactly what type of earrings I was looking for. So I typed into Google image search: "gold hoop earrings." Many pages of results later, I still could not find the right image. Very reluctantly (and I am even more hesitant to tell you), I typed in: "ghetto gold hoop earrings." The photo you see at the top was on the first page of results.

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* the CliffsNotes of snoburbia

plaster or drywall

I have been away for a while. No excuses. Oh, yeah, except that my 60-year-old living room ceiling collapsed! Here it is:

The gray stuff on the ground is not dust - it's the ceiling itself. But even in this minor catastrophe and mess, I found a kernel of good: Fodder for my blog.

I was getting bids from contractors, and I called my friend who is a contractor who works on historic homes. She said she would give me a quote to re-plaster the ceiling. I said, "No, drywall is fine." She seemed shocked: "Really? Everyone around here insists on plaster. No one wants drywall."

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seven keys to college readiness

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Montgomery County Public Schools has issued a booklet, Seven Keys to College Readiness. The first key is, "Advanced reading in Grades K-2." The third key is, "Advanced math in Grade 5." Every few weeks, some vexed parent pops up on one of the listservs on which I lurk,* worried that her kindergartner is not yet reading Harry Potter or her third grader is not yet doing Algebra.

Not to worry - in MoCo, forty percent of  children qualify for the GT tag or "gifted and talented." Most live in the green zone, another term for snoburbia, where college is a birthright and it is assumed one's child is GT. On one listserv, a commenter said a more accurate moniker would be AA: "Advanced and Advantaged."

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* because "lurk" is a funny word, that's why