snoburbia, the blog

modern bravery

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... I regularly drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified.

Snoburban dad Phil Dunphy on ABC's Modern Family, on ways he is brave.

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common occupations of snoburbia

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From city-data.com, a snapshot of overclass snoburb, Great Falls, Va. And sometimes, just for yuks, I like to take a peak at snoburban political contributions too.

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harvard, punk'd

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Yale pranks Harvard in this new video from the 2004 Harvard-Yale game. Of course, this was replicating the famous Caltech Rose Bowl prank from 1961.

Students at MIT once stole a cannon from the Caltech campus and drove it across the country, posing as a moving company.

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Around here in downcounty Montgomery, people still talk about the giant cow that Richard Montgomery students painted on the roof chimney of snoburban rival Walter Johnson High School - which had been built next to a cow pasture - in the early 1960s. The cow remained until construction workers recently mistakenly painted over it. Senior prank, anyone?

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get plenty of rest

 

In the overclass snoburbs, high school kids do not miss class unless they are under anesthesia or a CDC quarantine.

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Today, I sent an email to my child's AP Biology teacher to say he was feeling too ill to go to school. Would she please tell me what work, if any, he has to make up today from home? Her response:

Thanks for the email. 1. Both pre-labs #3 and #7 are due tomorrow. 2. The karyotype the students finished in class Friday after the test is due. 3. In addition, in class today I had the kids work on their Chesapeake Bay reports due Friday. 4. Finally, I assigned the major 2nd quarter molecular biology project. It is due December 3rd. [Your son] will be presenting number 27. Take care,  [Teacher]

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My friend texted me one day last week. Her son had left his backpack at our house and she wanted to pick it up right away. He was worrying about getting his homework finished. He was in the hospital, just coming out of painful surgery, in the recovery room.

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to drive his sister to georgetown visitation, obviously

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In the new teen heartthrob flick, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, vampire Edward Cullen drives a new Volvo. Why, asks online magazine, Slate? Isn't he immortal?

Well, maybe he has a sister he has to drive to her Washington, D.C., private school, or maybe he just needs a place for his "War is not the answer" bumper sticker.

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oops, i forgot to have children

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Aww... Isn't that cute? Some nicely dressed grandparents are at the Einstein Bagels, in North Chevy Chase, with their cute 2-year-old grandson.

But hold on a minute... because in snoburbia, when you think you see grandparents with a toddler, you actually are seeing the parents.

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out of my way, pet

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The only thing I love about driving a giant, hulking vehicle in the snoburbs is this: People in their pet cars get out of my way. I noticed this today as I was driving around a downhill curve on a narrow street. Two little cars - a MINI Cooper and a VW Beetle - respectfully pulled over when they saw me coming. Heh heh.

A pet car is what I call the second, or sometimes third, car of a typical family of the suburban overclass. It's precious and tiny. It’s the pet of either the wife, who received it as a 40th birthday present, or the husband, who is desperately reliving his fantasy of youth by driving a luxury convertible that blows his scant hair around.

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eat, nosh, love your book club

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If you live in snoburbia, and are a female between the ages of 30 and 50, you are required to be in a book club. If you have not joined a book club, you have no friends and are not literate.

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