hello – are you interesting?

•••

In Washington, D.C. and its snoburbs, people cannot have a more than two-minute conversation that does not include, “So, what do you do?” The meta-message is, 1.) “What is your level of accomplishment as compared to mine?” and, 2.) “Should I bother continuing this chat?” (When I lived in L.A., and people asked me what I did, they meant, “Do you mountain bike or ski?”)

There are many media elites living in the overclass snoburbs of D.C. And at a party, people want to talk to them only about their work. So, a reporter I know responds to the what-do-you-do inquiry with, “I work at Chick-fil-A.” This often is met with a wan smile and a hasty exit toward the canapés.

•••

The writer Mark Helprin, when asked by fellow airplane passengers what he does for a living, tells people, “I sell industrial fluids.”

•••

Comments

[Kathy J, Washington Gardener Mag]

Ohh how smart - I need to come up with a faux profession for boring cocktail mixers - I love Chik Fil A so may steal that one.

[snoburbia]

My husband sat on a plane next to a guy who was a "bulk cheese salesman." I've been waiting to use that one.

[M.]

Say you made your fortune in the dog laxative/enema business. Major points if you can say that with a straight face, and point to canape/drink while elaborating on one ingredient of said canape/drink that has desired effect on treated canines.

[fillyjonk]

And then there’s a sort of reverse snobbery: Upon telling people I’m a biology professor, I frequently get either of these responses:

(a) “OMG….a BRAIN.” (and then they back away slowly)

(b) “I hated biology when I was in school.” (Thanks for sharing. Please don’t hate me because of what I do)

( c). Simply backing away in (mock, I hope) fear, apparently because of my imagined-to-be-enormous mental powers.

Honestly, some days I wonder if I should just tell people I’m in the steno pool. Maybe they’d still talk to me then. Except they’d probably ask my opinion on Selectrics or something and then I’d be caught flat-footed.

[Bethany]

Believe it or not, when people ask me where I work (after they ask if I work of course, because I look three years younger than I actually am) -- I say I work at Chick-fil-A because I do! I get different responses.

1) I get looks of pain. "I hear they they don't pay much."

2) More looks of pain. "I don't know how you can deal with customers."

3) "Can you get me free food?" Me: "Take it up with Corporate."

4) Looks of excitement. "Everyone's so nice there!"

So yeah, mixed responses. I would be considered a snoburbian, though, because I ask the same question: "What do you do?"

[snoburbia]

I love Chick-fil-A. It's the reason I was unable to go totally vegetarian...

[Janet]

When I lived in Chicago, it was considered rude to ask someone what they "do" upon first meeting him/her. IT'S STILL RUDE.