better safe and sorry

•••

I have a confession to make: I am a speeder. (Please don’t make that face!)

I am a safe and efficient driver. I’m not aggressive, nor intoxicated. I don’t swerve, and I don’t run red lights or stop signs. I signal when switching lanes. I don’t cut through your street. I drive slowly when near your children and other pedestrians. I brake for small mammals. I stop for school buses and pull over for fire engines.

Police cars with actual police officers in them don’t ticket me (okay, maybe that once in Kentucky). However, a new entity has determined I’m wildly dangerous – or at least a reliable revenue stream: speed cameras.

I have developed an eagle’s eye when it comes to spotting them, or their insidious cousins, the “Safe Speed” vans. (Why are the windows tinted so dark? Exactly what or whom is in there? Vans with tinted windows used to carry death squads in Central America.)

•••

My town in snoburbia is soon to add speed cameras to our major commuter thoroughfare. I mean, why would people from the outer suburbs want to speed past our clipped boxwoods and Victorian cupolas on their way home from work?

Speed cameras are for our safety, because when we’re not being tracked and videotaped, we’re just not safe.  The fact that speed camera revenue in the overclass suburb just to the south of us funded that town’s entire annual budget has nothing to do with it.

•••

For a highly gratifying (though probably apocryphal) story about a speed camera, click here.

•••

Comments

[Les]

UGH! Those darn speed cameras.